Anna-Marie Raven ~ Evoking Art Everyday

coming full circle...

to be in the presence of the very same willow tree from my Vision...

to touch her with my very own hand....

to stand toe to toe, barefoot on naked earth with the very soul who first appeared in my Vision and then revealed himself to me in my dream...

this is my path...

and I have never felt more at home....

in my whole life...

than I do right now...

thank you Mother Earth for loving and adoring me as you do...

and giving me so much to love in return...

peace, love, respect, gentle...

simple moments...

 

yesterday....

as I was driving along....

I spotted two red-tailed hawks....

playful...

clearly excited and happy....

to just be....

enjoying each other's company....

and in that moment....I saw myself with another soul....

together...enjoying each other's company....

free....and REAL....

by the time I pulled over and was able to grab my flip camera out from the back seat....there was only one in sight....

but around the 1:13 mark...you see the rejoining of the two....

together in the sky....

more "KNOWING" for my soul....humbled by the way hawk speaks to me...

ever so clearly....

the footage is crude...raw...

the music, is as it was playing in my car...as are the cars rushing by....

a moment of KNOWING...captured and shared....as is...good medicine.

I was on my way to a favorite spot...

so good....this place....

peaceful...

 

simple moments....on a Sunday morning...

totally diggin' the rainbow energy that appears around the 38-44 second mark...

Today...I encourage you to open your eyes....WIDE...

look toward the sky....even when the rest of the world rushes by....

BREATHE deep...

walk your shores...your woods...your earth...

FEEL the nurturing she has to offer...

LISTEN to her voice...and you will hear truths spoken just for you...

only the wind...

through my window during hurricane Irene

How distracted and caught up with the "things of the world" one must be to say, (during a hurricane no less), "we are without power"...
for sitting in the graylight of daylight this day, in my solitude all of my senses are touched and heightened by the power of the wind...
��� I see the trees bowing & breaking in respect & fear of the powerful wind...
��� I feel the sensual touch of the wind on my skin as it finds it's way through my old carriage house windows...
��� I taste the cool, fresh hurricane raindrops on my lips as I dash outside to move my truck from harm's way...
��� I smell the fragrant, tropical bouquet of the hurricane wind, a complex blend of leaves, mist & earth carried all the way up the coast...
��� but most importantly, as I sit in the solitude of my sacred space, I hear the wisdom of the wind speaking straight to my soul...
reassuring me...
guiding me...
teaching me...
comforting me...
yes...only the wind...
no electric company could offer me what I have been gifted today...
only the wind...

on the sea...

 

Saturday,  I was invited to sit with another in their sacred space...

we sat together...on opposite sides of this vessel...

I on the east...he on the west...

anchored at sea for 5 hours...

holding the space for each other to release...

speaking freely...

our words were enough in that time...

a rare gift.

Grandmother Sun was my chaperone...

when she set, I knew it was time for me to go...

part of me longed to linger...

to lay down on that seat and gaze at the stars all night long...

in silence and understanding...

but the stars scolded me and said "your time to gaze at us all night long will come, sweet girl...don't worry, we will be right here waiting for you, another time, and we will save our brightest sparkles just for you".

on the dinghy back to shore, the sea lit up behind us...

Bioluminescence danced behind us...the whole way...

like little sea fairies...

so delicately beautiful.

the cleansing medicine of the rain...

 

the past two week have kicked me to the ground in more ways that one could ever fathom....

without a doubt, it's been the most difficult, devastating & heartbreaking week of my life next to my miscarriage 15 months ago...

I have had quite the journey over the past 18 months, and finally on my birthday this past Saturday, I took the last blow...I was hit so hard that I could not breathe...

but somehow I found the courage to reach out...and there was a tender soul who took my hand...and nurtured me with kindness...a gift, if you will...

and now I am healing...I feel the universe is letting me know that FINALLY...the barrage is over.

It started with a tender touch and then a gentle rain...

a rain that has been cleansing me now everyday since my birthday....

healing my heart...

nourishing me & giving me the strength to begin anew...

everything has changed, my whole life as I knew it, from birth to this very moment...whether I like it or not, (and in fact, as grueling as it has been, I know it is my path), I have been completely transformed...

thank you dear souls, who have stayed with me through this...I know that my blog has not been the source of inspiration that it was before this 18 month catharthis...

(but I do believe I am finally through)...

finally free to feel the rain on my skin....

ironically, the one who cast that final blow on my birthday messaged me on Sunday to ask how I was and said, "Sux that it's raining too, huh?"...

to which I responded..."I told you several times I love the rain...you don't know me at all"...

as I write these words, it begins to pour...

reconfirming it all...

today is where my book begins...the rest is still unwritten...

Anna-Marie Raven

shooting...stars & hearts...

here's a little peek into my world today...

at this moment, I was on the way to the police station to fill out a report.  I was shot at yesterday, while driving down the highway.  Apparently, there is someone who is getting off on shooting at people in cars.  Had the bullet made it through the windshield, it would have hit me right in the head.

It doesn't really surprise me that I was hit, with all of the HUGE things that have happened in my life over the past year, I have come to expect that as I continue this transformation, seemingly HUGE things will continue to happen.  Recently, I was told repeatedly, by a dear soul that "there truly are no coincidences".   My windshield, struck by a bullet exactly 2 months to the day that I received a suicide letter from this same someone who took his own life with a bullet.  (which by the way, I needed no letter, I "knew" the moment it happened, I "felt" a rift, that something was drastically wrong.  I still wonder what the police in CO think of this girl from RI...calling to alert them I "knew" something awful had happened to him without any evidence at all.)

So of course, it didn't surprise me in the slightest when I walked into the police station today and was told that I was the 33rd person to file a report in this case.  Of course I was number 33 - it is a number of great significance between he and I. 

And this river, stopping me in my tracks today.  I felt it's pull stronger than ever today.   
Another thing I "knew", was that before he took his life, that he was standing above a river.  I could "see" him, in a state of repose on the cliff above it.  When I described what I had "seen", the police knew exactly the area of which I was speaking.  I came to find out that he had spoken of this place to an old boss as well, telling her how much he loved it there.  In another instance, I was describing to the police in CO something else I "saw/felt", and our conversation went exactly like this:

Officer: "Ma'am...have you ever been to Palisade, CO?"

Me: "No"

Officer: "You just described the whole town".

Yup...it was a connectedness that is almost impossible to describe and I imagine COMPLETELY impossible to understand unless you have had a similar connection with someone. 

And yes, I miss him, but I am not grieving, not in the way that you might think...

...mostly, I am SIMPLY grateful for everything I learned about myself as a result of our time together...so, so grateful and at peace with every step I take...

but I do wonder...

 What are you trying to tell me today, baby?...and did you help me dodge that bullet?...I bet you did, the ding the bullet made in the windshield is a star inside of a heart...it's actually quite amazing...

adds a whole new layer to the term..."shooting stars"...

quiet on the blogfront...

My posts have been less frequent over the past few weeks, and while I could cop out and say that it was to the the "holiday hub-bub", that's not it at all.

I am at a loss for words...feeling profoundly immersed in something that is so deep & pure & true...♥

Marinating in it all right now, soaking it all in.  I feel it oozing and filling in the cracks and crevaces of my soul, healing my broken parts, enveloping me in a warm, loving way.  This connection embodies an "energy", (for lack of a better term), that I had no idea was something I needed, and yet even in my solitude, is revealing to me day by day that not only is this exactly what I needed, but all the more it is truly vital to ensure my healthy growth and well-being. 

I am on my knees...kissing the ground...humble and thankful for the grounding and rootedness.

centering, gathering, filling my basket...

 
hopi woman weaving baskets

Art is a way of life for the Hopi; it expresses their visions, beliefs and dreams to themselves and others. As artisans, they incorporated their Hopi symbols into an array of dazzlingly beautiful baskets, weavings, and pottery.  Basket making preceded pottery making, so baskets that were used for cooking were lined with clay, and water vessels were covered with pine pitch.  Native American people embody the understanding of daily work that is infused with spirit - for them, the worlds of spirit and matter are not seperate.  What is utilitarian must also be beautiful because it comes from Mother Earth and is made as an offering back to her. 

 For the past 2 weeks, I've been a bit engrossed in a mixology class.  It was a great experience, one that I hope to make use of to draw me out into "the world" a few nights per week.  As an artist, who really enjoys creating in the solitude of my studio, I find that if I do not make efforts to step outside the walls of my studio and interact with "random people", I would be quite content not to.   On the contrary, I'm not an introvert by any means.  I can't go anywhere, (i.e. grocery store, gas station, etc), without finding myself in a conversation with complete strangers, it's just that I'm feeling the need to shake it up a bit more.

Now that the whirlwind of classes & studying for 2 weeks straight is over, I'm sighing & finding my center & grounding once again.  If you've been following my blog, you know that I don't make New Years Resolutions but, rather, take time each year to sit with the stirrings of my soul and determine instead "my intentions" for the new year.  It is that time, once again to determine and declare my intentions for 2011. 

So much has transpired for me in this past year, mostly internal.  So much was revealed to me, so much information coming in from "the universe", and because these types of "revelations" were so new, I was not sure how to process it all, and sometimes I learned the hard way, that it is best to simply let it all marinate...to allow time for the deeper meaning of it all to permeate before acting upon it.  As this year winds down, I'm finally feeling a bit more centered, and the reception of information has found it's grooves to flow steadily in, massaging & filling the crevaces rather than the bombardment that I felt when it first began for me back in February. 

I know that right now, most people are caught up in the throws of the holiday season, and that can be a very beautiful thing, but for me this year is so much different.  There is no tree, there are no presents or decorations and there is very little obligation.  Oddly enough it feels so right in so many ways, for you see I am treasuring this quiet time to really focus & center myself...

...to gather the things that I need to fill my basket to head into 2011 prepared and ready to release some of these things that have been marinating within...

making a beautiful offering back to Mother Earth...thankful & humble for the intuition that has been bestowed upon me...knowing that the beauty of a gift is not in simply beholding it, but in the practical application, usage and sharing with others.  If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that I fully intend to experience & enjoy the most recent gift I've been given.   Sometimes the sweetest gifts are the ones we were not expecting, and they become all the more meaningful when we realize that it was something we really do need, but hadn't realized it until the moment it was handed to us and we took the time to consider the magnitude of  it's grace.

It is my hope, that even if you are in the throws of the Holiday Season, that you will find a way to make some time for centering yourself, and honoring the true gifts you have been given so that you may give back and enjoy them to their fullest.

do you see what I see...

 
raw photo taken by me on 11/22/10

"of all the most significant moments in my life I look and found myself to be around others but no one else noticing in the way that I did."

Words written to me the other day by someone, who by all accounts, I barely know, yet somehow I know better than those I've known forever...

When I see a sky like this...I long so desperately to be in the company of a soul who "notices in the way I do"...

...someone who can lay silently in the grass with me, breathing it all in...stirring our souls in perfect rhythm...

...and when the moment has passed can turn toward me, look into my eyes, and share the sheer and utter depth of the moment...

...without the sound of a single word...

intensity of illumination...

 
I am syncing with you more and more each day...

you are coming into your fullness...

as am I...

there is a wisdom within that is older and deeper than ever before...

I am sensitive to our connection...

emanating the glow...

the intensity of illumination is far greater than it's ever been...

inside & out, as I now understand how it is that I reflect the sun.

I am finely tuned to the cadence of the sea...

oh, how it is music to my soul.

I am anticipating this fullness like never before, yet breathing deeply...poising myself...

releasing control to experience each little moment of  the rounding out...

freely...organically...beautifully...wholly...