Anna-Marie Raven ~ Evoking Art Everyday

simple moments...

 

yesterday....

as I was driving along....

I spotted two red-tailed hawks....

playful...

clearly excited and happy....

to just be....

enjoying each other's company....

and in that moment....I saw myself with another soul....

together...enjoying each other's company....

free....and REAL....

by the time I pulled over and was able to grab my flip camera out from the back seat....there was only one in sight....

but around the 1:13 mark...you see the rejoining of the two....

together in the sky....

more "KNOWING" for my soul....humbled by the way hawk speaks to me...

ever so clearly....

the footage is crude...raw...

the music, is as it was playing in my car...as are the cars rushing by....

a moment of KNOWING...captured and shared....as is...good medicine.

I was on my way to a favorite spot...

so good....this place....

peaceful...

 

simple moments....on a Sunday morning...

totally diggin' the rainbow energy that appears around the 38-44 second mark...

Today...I encourage you to open your eyes....WIDE...

look toward the sky....even when the rest of the world rushes by....

BREATHE deep...

walk your shores...your woods...your earth...

FEEL the nurturing she has to offer...

LISTEN to her voice...and you will hear truths spoken just for you...

Swan medicine...

she came to me...2/1/12...photo by AM Raven

gently....she came to me...today...good medicine...timely...

"Swan ushers in a time of altered states of awareness and development of your intuitive abilities. Swan people have the ability to… accept the healing and transformation of their lives. Swan gently nudges you to accept your ability to know what lies ahead. If you are resisting your self-transformation, relax; it will be easier if you go with the flow… Pay attention to your hunches and your gut knowledge, and honor your female intuition..."

"similar to the Hans Christian Anderssen story of "The Ugly Duckling", Swan medicine can show you how to see the inner beauty within yourself or in others regardless of outer appearances..."

she spoke...with no sounds...just a knowing...

today...I had a hint of fear...that my past "uglies" would be seen...

and that might take away from the life-changing power of beauty that emerged when I was released free from that past.

our encounter soothed my soul...

shortly after our encounter, I stopped at a favorite local shop...

to purchase a small gift of a favorite scent to send in a package to the very person I was concerned might view my uglies as...

well...

ugly.

As I was paying for the scents...I noticed a stack of thought cards...inviting me to choose one...

I reached into the stack, and blindly chose....

more affirmation regarding...

my Vision...

yes..."cosmic connections" abound...

new year, new artwork, new heartwork...

new original artwork ~ AM Raven ~ 1/1/12

my gypsy soul is perched...

and ready...

so I am easing into this new year...

considering carefully all artistic opportunities that come my way, but holding my sojourn first and foremost in my heart...

last night, on New Year's Eve (truly no coincidence), I had a dream...that in it's own subtle way, was somehow reminiscent of "A Vision"...

and tonight...I painted...and interestingly enough, without trying, brought her forth again...

tenderness, vulnerability & letting go...

my bracelet...evolving

how can I put into words the significance of something which I cannot yet explain...

this bracelet has a story to tell...

it was meant for me...so I did not hesitate to purchase it for myself on August 2nd...

then part of the feather, a few quills, broke off just a few days later, during the toughest week of my life...

which represented so much.

In it's brokenness, it has been a source of strength for me as I've been healing over the past two months...

then this past weekend, I found myself, jumping off a boat into the sea...

the sea that calls me...

that cradles me...

that reflects the moon that I adore & constantly feel the pull of...

and when the sweet sea nudged me back into the boat, I noticed that the feather charm was missing...it's hard to tell from this photo, but it didn't just fall off...it "broke" off...

freeing itself from me...a letting go that I had no choice in...

stripped of my token of strength...

left alone so to speak...in a tiny boat...

however, interestingly enough...

I wasn't alone...

there was another sweet soul there with me...

who tenderly listened through my tears as I tried to explain that it was okay, because I knew there was a positive significance to the breaking away, even though I had no clue what that significance was specifically, it truly was no coincidence that the feather had broken away in that moment...in that way...

Last night, I was gifted with a few words from the universe, that resonated deep and brought to mind the loss of my feather...

“Life will break you. Living alone won't protect you from that, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless about getting hurt again...

but she makes it easier...to open up...and trust...

A dear soul said to me that "A Vision" gives them hope & optimism about love and being loved"...

I couldn't have said it better myself...

 

A Vision...

 
BARN OWL - original painting by Anna-Marie Raven ~ available in my shop as a fine art print.

first let me say that I fucking hate having to put a "watermark" on my artwork images online.  I want everyone to see the piece as it was created.  I usually don't even sign the front of a painting either because I do not want to take away from the integrity of the piece.  Sadly however, I've learned the hard way, it is necessary to protect my work.

So here she is, the work that was inspired by the vision I started to speak of here.

A VISION ~ by AM Raven

and I found myself in a grassy field, laying on my belly under a weeping willow...

I looked up and there was the most lovely barn owl in that tree...

looking down at me with compassion...

she swooped down silently and nuzzled herself into my neck…

tucked in the corner, tight, between my shoulder and my neck…

I felt her pure kindness & compassion…

she too, like so many, told me I was beautiful and loved...

however, this time, for the first time, I FELT it, somehow, she showed me what it felt like…

to FEEL beautiful and loved…

and then she moved in front of my face and lifted her wing, pointing down a path…

I made my way through a lush forest…

the earthly smells were so sensual and soothing…

the forest opened up to another grassy field…

the sun sinking deep into my bones as I stepped out of the forest…

and there you were…

you know who you are…

in that field…

smiling at me…

I felt tears in my eyes…

And a warmth in my heart…

Without any words from you…

For the first time in my life…

I immediately felt TREASURED…

A deep understanding and knowing filled my soul…

It has been a long journey…

But I am here…

And, you?...

Well, you know who you are…

It’s time for you too…

We are both ready to enjoy & explore one another…

Peace and balance…

Ebb and flow…

Step toward me…

hold out your hand…

and I will surely respond…

for even knowing little to nothing at all…

I know you…just as you know me...

you know?

yes…you do.

~~~~~~~~~

She flowed so freely & has a depth that humbles me beyond words...

I love the inner knowing & peace that came from this work...

and while I do not know specifically "who" this vision represents, I am no longer anxious...I have peace now, and an inner knowing...I understand what loving myself means...a piece I was missing for so long...

love, love, lovin' this soul work...

(side note ~ I'll be updating my new shop this week with more of my work ~ be sure to check back) 

workin' through it all...

 
painting in progress ~ 3/23/11 ~ original watercolor

For the past three days, I've been a little on edge...a little shaky...a little scared, and at times, a little pissed off.

An old love shared his concern for me today, from seeing bits and pieces of what I've been through in the past year, most recently some pretty horrific things.  He pointed out that these events would have most people on their knees.   He gently told me that whether I realize it or not, these things are all stress producers.  He said that I've always been a survivor, and the thing that he said that really stuck with me is he encouraged me to be "bland" for awhile.  Very thought provoking advice, certainly a different way of looking at how to work through things.

I think the main reason that I'm a little pissed off has to due with this blindsiding wave of emotion that hit me Sunday night and has been ebbing gently in and out since...this craving of sorts...to just be held by a comfortable soul...(does such a person even exist for me?).  I am blessing and cursing the man who opened me up to this desire and then took his life 1 week after I knew exactly what it felt like to be held in that way...the way I crave now.

Wrestling with the fact that before he came along, I was only craving solitude.  I was completely in control of my emotions.  I don't like craving something that is not available when I need it, (or think I need it)...it's fucking distracting and just plain sucks.

I wrote and posted a blogpost the other day, it was raw and open, and then juxtapost to my usual flair for being 100% percent open with my writings...I felt anxious about it and converted it back into a draft format so that it wouldn't show up for public viewing...wtf is up with that?

I was out all day today, and when I was driving back to this place...this place that I had been needing and craving since September (actually longer, but that is when I started to outwardly acknowledge and seek it), I had to put my foot down with myself and kick my own ass.  I have the ability to heal myself...I have this beautiful space...which is exactly what I was seeking...for God's sake woman, get the fuck out of your head and go paint in the space, your space...where no one can stand in your doorway anymore and cut you & your work to shreads.   

I need to embrace myself...and let that be enough when there isn't anyone else to be there with & for me.

I need to nurture myself, and encourage myself to reach inward to fill my soul.  For when I reach outward, especially in this tender state, I find myself in my old role, my comfort zone of being the accomodater...trying desperately hard to please others, at my own heart's expense. 

So, tonight, I am gently easing myself into painting in my new space.  This piece is one that has been in my head since January...finally taking the time to release it to paper now.  I have alot more to share about this strong, feminine feline...she holds the residue of my past and interestingly enough, the future of someone else. 

I feel that my work will change drastically in this space, but she lived in my head before I lived here...

so I guess, in some ways, she is my transition piece...

peace & love...AM

new artwork..."Reflection"...

 
"Reflection" - 2011 - 9 x 12 original watercolor painting by Anna-Marie Still 

 fine art print available here in my online shop.  

I painted this piece just as the New Year began, my first piece of 2011, oddly enough, before my world was turned upside down.  When I began it, my intention was to include it in with the pieces I am showing in the upcoming Mother Africa exhibit.  When the painting was done, it just felt seperate, so I put it aside.  It has sat on my worktable off to the side, and somehow, since my world turned upside down 12 days ago, it has been reaching out to me, trying to tell me something.   Here is what it speaks:

My heart behind this piece:

REFLECTION 

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection.  From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action. ~ Peter F. Drucker

The Blacksmith Plover is an assertive, conspicuous but also, wary creature.  This little bird hops into Crocodile’s mouth and eats the leeches which attack her gums, thus endangering her one great survival gift. Crocodile will open her mouth and wait for her ally, the Plover.  Although Crocodile eats birds, she never harms Plover.

 Plover reminds us that even when we are effective and efficient in helping others, we must be cautious not to give beyond what is healthy.  We must take time to reflect, so that we may center ourselves & remain balanced.  There must be a time for personal check & balance, a refilling of your own well, to strengthen yourself so that you are able and ready to give again when you see and feel the need arise.  

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where I am at today...

I feel like there are multiple carpets under my feet...

and as each one is pulled out, I stumble, and just as I think I might be able to take a breath...

another is pulled out from under me.

how many carpets can there possibly be I wonder?

and with that thought I long to lay down, curled up on a cool hardwood floor.

live from my studio...painting in progress for upcoming Mother Africa show...

...and fyi...yes that's the same mug as in my previous post from 2 days ago...however, it's not the same beverage...the cup has been washed since 2 days ago...in case you were wondering ;)

painting in progress...

 
Shot with my Hipstamatic for iPhone
Lens: Kaimal Mark II
Flash: Off
Film: Kodot XGrizzled

Yesterday, I started to work on a collection of paintings for my participation in the upcoming Mother Africa exhibit, presented by the URI Feinstein Providence Campus Gallery and the International Gallery of Heritage and Culture. 

I've been vascillating between watercolors and acrylics for this collection, and this evening I am most certainly feeling the pull of my acrylics.

Here's a peek at the beginnings of one of the pieces.  If you are familiar with my work, you know that often times, my work deals with animal medicine, totems & spirit guides.  I've wanted to honor elephant for quite some time.   I'm loving the powerful yet gentle spirit that is moving through me as I create this work.    

The elephant has a most auspicious symbolism.  They embody strength and power.

So there you have it...a peek into what's on my table & what is moving through me tonight... 

...more to come on these works soon.

heightened perception

 
It's been awhile since I've seen the deer around my house and woods, but this morning, I was sweetly surprised by not only the usual visitors, but also one similar to this guy with a large set of antlers.  I've lived here for almost 4 years now and even though I have had many visits from many different deer, this was the first time one with antlers has come.  So undeniably beautiful & timely...

"Deer with antlers can be a signal to pay attention to your inner thoughts and perceptions, as they are probably more accurate than you think.  A new innocence & freshness is about to be awakened or born.  there is going to be a gentle, enticing lure of new adventures."

A beautiful confirmation of what I already know. 

This visit instantly meshed with something I was touched by yesterday.  a dear friend posted a song on her blog that I had never heard, so I gave it a listen.  The line that resonated with me the most was...

"I'm still a fire, unlit, ready to go"

What stirs the butterflies right now, is the perfect knowledge that the spark is coming.   So close, I can feel it.  So I'm paying special care & taking deep breaths to ensure that I remain centered in order to witness inside & out, the moment of connection. 

Get your sunglasses people...it's going to burn bright...