Anna-Marie Raven ~ Evoking Art Everyday

*glowing*

self-portrait February 9, 2012

...all because of a dream....

simple moments...

 

yesterday....

as I was driving along....

I spotted two red-tailed hawks....

playful...

clearly excited and happy....

to just be....

enjoying each other's company....

and in that moment....I saw myself with another soul....

together...enjoying each other's company....

free....and REAL....

by the time I pulled over and was able to grab my flip camera out from the back seat....there was only one in sight....

but around the 1:13 mark...you see the rejoining of the two....

together in the sky....

more "KNOWING" for my soul....humbled by the way hawk speaks to me...

ever so clearly....

the footage is crude...raw...

the music, is as it was playing in my car...as are the cars rushing by....

a moment of KNOWING...captured and shared....as is...good medicine.

I was on my way to a favorite spot...

so good....this place....

peaceful...

 

simple moments....on a Sunday morning...

totally diggin' the rainbow energy that appears around the 38-44 second mark...

Today...I encourage you to open your eyes....WIDE...

look toward the sky....even when the rest of the world rushes by....

BREATHE deep...

walk your shores...your woods...your earth...

FEEL the nurturing she has to offer...

LISTEN to her voice...and you will hear truths spoken just for you...

Swan medicine...

she came to me...2/1/12...photo by AM Raven

gently....she came to me...today...good medicine...timely...

"Swan ushers in a time of altered states of awareness and development of your intuitive abilities. Swan people have the ability to… accept the healing and transformation of their lives. Swan gently nudges you to accept your ability to know what lies ahead. If you are resisting your self-transformation, relax; it will be easier if you go with the flow… Pay attention to your hunches and your gut knowledge, and honor your female intuition..."

"similar to the Hans Christian Anderssen story of "The Ugly Duckling", Swan medicine can show you how to see the inner beauty within yourself or in others regardless of outer appearances..."

she spoke...with no sounds...just a knowing...

today...I had a hint of fear...that my past "uglies" would be seen...

and that might take away from the life-changing power of beauty that emerged when I was released free from that past.

our encounter soothed my soul...

shortly after our encounter, I stopped at a favorite local shop...

to purchase a small gift of a favorite scent to send in a package to the very person I was concerned might view my uglies as...

well...

ugly.

As I was paying for the scents...I noticed a stack of thought cards...inviting me to choose one...

I reached into the stack, and blindly chose....

more affirmation regarding...

my Vision...

yes..."cosmic connections" abound...

the shape of my heart...

image found on tumblr...

much needed wisdom for my soul...

I feel that so few understand the nature of me...

how I am moved by the simple...

how I am moved by the subtle...

picking up pebbles...

toes in the grass...

my heart beats differently... 

but no one seems to hear it like I do...

healing...quietly...

been snuggled in like a hibernating bear since yesterday...

a bit under the weather...

snuggled into the covers, sleeping, letting my body heal itself...

crawled out briefly for a cup of lemon ginger tea, a baked potato, and some time with a book given to me by one of my patrons...

I rarely get sick...(last time I can remember was about 2 years ago)...

strange as it may seem...

I'm feeling grateful for this pause...this forced solitude...

last week, things moved way too fast for me...

I was caught up in things that did not allow me the space to dwell and marinate in what I really wanted to...my perspicacious nature was veiled by the distractions around me...

so today it feels good...(even though I feel a bit under the weather)...

to be still...

to recalibrate...

to center myself...

protection & peace within...

easing...releasing...

healing...quietly...

new year, new artwork, new heartwork...

new original artwork ~ AM Raven ~ 1/1/12

my gypsy soul is perched...

and ready...

so I am easing into this new year...

considering carefully all artistic opportunities that come my way, but holding my sojourn first and foremost in my heart...

last night, on New Year's Eve (truly no coincidence), I had a dream...that in it's own subtle way, was somehow reminiscent of "A Vision"...

and tonight...I painted...and interestingly enough, without trying, brought her forth again...

honoring solstice & solitude

ceremony 12-25-11

Today, I opened the tipi flap to my soul.

for me, it was about rebuilding Cantewasake -(can-te-wah-sha-keh) - fortitude, strength of heart and mind.

Originally, I was not supposed to be alone on this day...

but 1 week ago, I felt the wisdom of the elders, the intuition and insight was clear...

and I knew that I would be left alone...again...

the anticipation of the blow, somehow this time, made the sting duller than usual...

but it stung nonetheless.

Instead of letting the disregard and rejection consume me...I turned inward...

knowing that the pain of giving too much, to too many, over the past several weeks has caught up with me once again...

and left me completely alone.

Instead of condemning myself for caring too much...for giving too much, today, I honored myself...

I slept late, I loved myself, I lounged, I read, I cooked, I painted, I enjoyed the quiet, I had ceremony, I drummed, I centered and I did not speak one word aloud...

a day that I was trepidacious about just a few days ago, became a day that I am graciously marinating in...

feeling humble & grateful today...

Honoring the solstice is something lost to most, so today, rather than honoring a holiday that holds nothing for me, it feels deeply meaningful to choose to make a connection to the ancients who speak to me, strengthen me and guide me back to my path when I go astray...

some things just take time...

I, (guiltily), snapped this photo tonight of this unsuspecting guy in Trader Joe's.  I couldn't resist because his dreads are quite possibly the coolest dreadlocks I've ever seen on a white boy.

My own dreadlock journey is on the horizon, and I'm looking forward to the transitions it will bring. 

I wonder how long it took for these beauties to evolve...

a simple reminder that most things just take time and patience for healthy growth.

adding layers...

self-portrait ~ 12/17/11 ~ thriftin'

for protection...from what you ask...?

maybe everything & everybody...for a little while.

you see, I am a trusting, open soul...

I speak what I feel, and I hold the space for others to do the same.

I care so deeply... (you have no idea)...even for those I do not know.

how I want to cradle your hurting heart in my arms...tight against my chest...radiating tenderness and love...running my fingers through your hair, in a way that let's you know..."you matter, you are valued"...washing away all the stings and cuts of unkind words spoken, and cold shoulders given by others whom you've trusted...those who you loved and/or still love.

...and when I feel something in return, I open more, peeling away layers...like a tender fruit, soft...ripe...ready to be savored, enjoyed...appreciated.

Over the past few weeks, I have had several hurting souls engage me...I could feel their tiredness of being cut down by harsh words...

their desire...

to be heard...

to be understoood...

to be appreciated...

their desire to know & feel that someone genuinely recognized that "yes, this one is special...this one has value...this one matters"...

and so I did what I do...

I listened...

I felt...

I understood...

I appreciated...

I gave...

and instead of being savored and enjoyed...

I was gobbled up quickly...then...discarded like an apple core...

tossed to the stony ground...left to rot, without a second thought.

Not a one took the time to dig deeper to my core for my seeds...

to carefully replant them in the good, deep dark earth...

so I could rejuvinate...

so I could feel a ripening...a growing...rejuvinating...

a cycle of nurture, growth and giving.

No, not a one.

I shared the details of these "interactions/conversations" with a wise soul who told me I wasn't going to like the advice he was going give me...

he went on to say that he thinks that I need aloneness for awhile...

that I need to just say no to those who come to me in this way...whether they seek simple conversation or something more, that I need to shut them down before it even begins...

I understand his point, however, I fear that shutting down to others would change who I am...drastically. 

(follow me now)...

I have never liked winter clothing at all...

I am so much more comfortable in a pair of flip flops and a tank top and little floaty skirt.

Today, however, I tried something new...lots of layers...in the photo above, you can't even see them all.  I am wearing 2 shirts, a long sweater vest, a scarf, a coat, my fingerless gloves, a hat, a skirt, wool knee highs and my boots...

and I discovered, that once I put it all together, I really liked the layers...I had fun choosing how and what I wanted to layer...and in the end I felt comfortable, warm and good about myself. 

what I'm feeling about all of this at the moment, is that while I don't think it will ever be possible for me to shut people out, I think it will be wise for me to add a few layers...for protection...and somehow, to find a way to layer in a way that allows me to still connect with others, but also allows me the time to peel away the layers of myself a bit more slowly...so as not to find myself standing naked and cold wondering WTF just happened...

As I ventured out this afternoon with all these layers, one stop was my favorite art store...I had a coupon to use, and this was the only day I'd be free to make it there before it expires.  The boy behind the counter said "I really like your outfit", I laughed a little and graciously said thanks.  Then I could feel that feeling...the one I get when I know someone would like to engage me more...so I gently added a few more layers, purchased my paints and panels and got the hell outta there. 

There is more that I want to share on the subject of hurting souls and how I relate to them...it's so intense lately, more to come on that, but for now I'll just say that I am grateful, for the warmth and protection of my newly discovered layers...

speakin' of peace & love...

self-portrait taken in bathroom at AS220, 12/4/11

messing around, waiting for a friend to arrive at the opening of an art show, I snapped this self-portrait in the bathroom stall, 'cuz I was diggin' the graffiti...

it was only just now, a day later  that I noticed that it looks like the peace symbol with "love" is a word bubble coming straight outta my own lips...

truly no coincidences...

a few days ago, this girl, wondered aloud if her family's tree trimming pace meant they were savoring it or being lazy.  I felt a connection of sorts as I had my tree up with only a single ornament and it had been that way for several days.

quite honestly, I wasn't even going to get a tree this year.  It's an odd year for me for many reasons, and I originally thought it best to just get through it by staying busy and ignoring it as much as possible.

But somehow, when I saw this little tree, half off at Whole Foods Market on Black Friday, I softened...and thought it would be better to gently, softly welcome a little holiday cheer into my sacred space.

not the commercialized bullshit mind you...

just the spirit of peace and love...

I bought this ornament at Target a few days before I decided to get a tree, not to hang on a tree, but to hang on a nail in my space, not to represent any commericalism, nor as a symbol for any holiday...

just a reminder....

a sweet reminder to give and receive pure peace and love...

I am savoring simplicity and authenticity...

I am honoring myself and my needs...

peace & love, baby...

peace & love.