photo taken while strolling tonight as my duds went round and round at the laundro...
maybe it's the pull of the full moon tonight....
but my heart feels heavy...and has since yesterday....
feeling very tender....pulling in to protect myself.
As I walked to the coffee shop while my clothes were washing, this ensemble in the window of CladIn caught my eye...
I'm not so drawn to the "over" top, but the dress that is peeking out from underneath....I {heart} it so....
I imagine it probably costs in the neighborhood of $845749459459745 dollars in this chic little store....
but even so, I've decided I'm going to go try it on when the store is open.
heck, maybe I'll even muster enough self-worth to actually buy it if it feels as amazing as it looks...
I am fighting these days for my self-worth....knowing that in a few weeks, I'll be able to roam barefoot in a wide open safe space...connecting with earth and water, fire and sky....and another soul who thus far, I've only met in my dreams....
not so much for the money, but mostly for moments just like this....
over the past year, I have waited on these men just about each time I've been there, for these men are "regulars"...they come everyday, order the same thing, have the same conversations, with little change to their demeanors...
that was until this magical day.....
when one of them brought in this old scrapbook.....
which ignighted wonderful conversations and lit up the whole room with magic....laughter...joy....
I was honored to be a "fly on the wall" and witness the power of memories....
gently....she came to me...today...good medicine...timely...
"Swan ushers in a time of altered states of awareness and development of your intuitive abilities. Swan people have the ability to… accept the healing and transformation of their lives. Swan gently nudges you to accept your ability to know what lies ahead. If you are resisting your self-transformation, relax; it will be easier if you go with the flow… Pay attention to your hunches and your gut knowledge, and honor your female intuition..."
"similar to the Hans Christian Anderssen story of "The Ugly Duckling", Swan medicine can show you how to see the inner beauty within yourself or in others regardless of outer appearances..."
she spoke...with no sounds...just a knowing...
today...I had a hint of fear...that my past "uglies" would be seen...
and that might take away from the life-changing power of beauty that emerged when I was released free from that past.